laurenhooper:

awlhf:

supervengers:

omvr:

yo gettin married at 22 sounds a lot like leavin a party at 9:30 pm

yeah but you get to leave the party with your favorite person on the planet, and take off all of your makeup, and put on your ugly comfortable clothes and make popcorn and curl up in your bed and watch a movie, and have sex and go to sleep, idk how that sounds like a bad thing.

And everyone else just wakes up alone and hungover.

this is the best thing ive ever heard

(via drown-in-a-watercolor)


panic-at-the-discount-store:

I show affection for my pets by holding them against me and whispering I love you repeatedly as they struggle to escape from my arms

(via umbra-venator)


herminehesse:

Van Gogh - Roses (detail)

shingekinokyojinheaven:

the-vashta-nerada:

one time my sisters and i were driving around and we saw a mcdonald’s and the m was kind of loose because there was a bunch of wind
and my older sister was like “mel i dare you do go steal that m”
so of course i don’t back down from a dare and i pried the m loose from the sign and we stole that mcdonald’s m and we hung it outside of our house because our last name starts with m and it was clever okay
but the manager of that mcdonalds FOLLOWED US HOME TO OUR HOUSE and they came to our door a few hours later and my mom answered and the manager was like “…it’s peculiar that you have a mcdonald’s m outside of your house when ours got stolen”
and my mom was like “yeah what an odd coincidence”
and the manager came by like the next day and my mom answered again and the manager was like “alright we know what your fucking brat kids did” and my mom was like “my children would nEVER”
and she closed the door on her and she was like “marielle you little shit” but then we took the m off of our house to throw off the manager and it’s in our garage now
but yeah i stole a big golden arch from mcdonald’s once


amateur
Nope

-the teen wolf fandom (via demons-whynot)

(Source: goddamnashtonirwin, via a-waiting-heart)




To just sleep in a car like this, with your best friend or boyfriend and not worry because its just you two and tomorrow you’re just going to climb out of bed and into the front of the car where you’ll drive off. Another day on your road trip together, living, laughing, loving.

johnnyis:

Pretty sure that middle names were invented so that we could tell when our parents were really mad at us.


voldemortcanyounot:

thebabbagepatch:

fearofpop:

A guy is taking his girlfriend to prom. He waits in the ticket line for a really long time but gets them. He goes to rent a limo. The rental line is really long but he eventually does it. He goes to buy her flowers. The line at the florist is really long but eventually he gets the flowers. At prom, she asks him to go get punch. He goes to the refreshment table and there’s no punchline.

you’ve got to be kidding me

I am in physical pain

(via umbra-venator)